I slipped between
the two sheets of my bed and they were cold. It was the first chill
of Fall and for a moment I was transported back to a different place
and a different time. For a minute I forgot about the long hallway
outside my bedroom door and pictured the square shaped creaky hallway
of our 1930s house. I forgot that mountains sat in darkness outside
my window and pictured the big old trees and friendly homes on our
old block. It was just a flash, but it was so clear; the smell, the
sounds, the chilly Fall air outside our cozy brick home. Even after
I was transported back to my current time and place I stayed in that
moment in my mind. I thought of the great big piles of multi-colored
leaves the kids jumped in; happy trick-or-treating between puddles;
corn mazes and apple trees; putting the kids in over-sized t-shirts
to paint pumpkins at the neighbor's house; the sound of a football
game at the University down the street; first day of school
nervousness as a mom; first night at home with a baby; crunchy leaves
under stroller wheels; watching the big tree blow with the wind of a
rainy day; sweatshirts and lazy Sunday afternoons watching the Browns
in the living room.
I can only sit with
nostalgia for so long so I started thinking about more recent
memories, closer, newer memories. I thought about the way the hot
summer sun permeates your clothes here. Mornings at the playground
checking that the slides were not too hot followed by cool evening
walks after a fast-moving storm. I thought about red dirt in the
kitchen from hikes left on our shoes. Vacation Bible School with new
names and new ways of doing things. The stunning views that took our
breath away on that first drive through the mountains. Endless
giggles and rides at the local kids' amusement park. Breakfast and
shopping while being a tourist in my own town with my mom. New
friends, new story times, new play dates, new parks … so many new
things. Grasshoppers and bunnies, deer and cacti. Endless blue
skies over pointed peaks. I thought of that late night on the back
porch, finding meaning in one another's stories with friends over
wine and twinkle lights. Vacation evenings spent playing card games
as a family as we realized we no longer have a baby in the family.
Outdoor concerts under towering holy stones with welcoming faces. So
much time pushing swings “higher!, higher!” I thought of kiddie
pool fun and potty-training messes.
Somewhere in the
midst of warm thoughts the sheets became warmer and I drifted off to
sleep. The next morning would bring a new season of memories that
will one day keep me warm even as the air brings a chill.
