If Not You, Then Who?

 

All Souls Unitarian Colorado Springs 4/24/22

          If not you, then who? Have you ever been asked that question? It can be seen either as a way of helping someone discern a calling and empowering someone to make a difference in spite of all of the negative voices in their head telling them they aren’t good enough … or it can be seen as a guilt-inducing way of pulling someone into a position they are reluctant to fill by tapping into their inherent desire to make the world a better place. I was asked this question on a sunny June day last year outside a coffee shop by D11 school board member Julie Ott.

          I had been asked by teachers at my kids’ school if I would consider running for school board. The thought of a political campaign and then resulting public office felt overwhelming, intimidating and also exciting. So I did what any good mainline pastor would do who has been through a lengthy and in depth ordination process, I started a process of discernment: meeting with people, doing research, praying, asking questions and wrestling with pluses and minuses. At the time I was asked “if not you, then who?” there wasn’t an answer, I was it. It was the beginning of summer and there weren’t many prospective candidates out there yet. But as the months went on the answer became more clear. If I didn’t win, I knew who would be making decisions that would impact my children and every student in D11 and the fire lit within me only burned brighter.

          I worked hard, really hard. I became fast friends with three incumbents who were running for reelection. We were the four that were endorsed by the teachers of D11 and were running for four open spots. We started working harder and harder not just for our own campaigns but for each other’s as we realized more and more what was at stake.

          At the beginning of the campaign I knew there were some conversations about Critical Race Theory but the then Superintendent of D11 publicly announced that Critical Race Theory was not being taught in D11 and will not. I also looked up the Social Studies Standards with Colorado Department of Education and it was not in there. It wasn’t being taught in d11 and no one was advocating for it to become part of the curriculum, so surely the election would focus on the real issues of D11, of which there are many: declining enrollment, achievement gaps, old buildings falling apart, teachers not feeling heard and an attitude of competition rather than collaboration between schools. After several days of a flooded inbox with emails asking only one question, I realized I was wrong. Door after door, email after email … I was asked “do you believe Critical Race Theory should be taught in schools?” Clearly someone was pushing this issue … and they were successful.

          The candidate forums and campaign materials from others became shocking and upsetting to me. Candidates were trashing the superintendent, blaming him for years of academic and enrollment decline when he had only taken the position one year before the pandemic closed schools. And the conversation about equity got weird. To be honest, when I learned about the equity audit that was done in D11 (and paid for by a grant) and the resulting equity policy and equity department that was formed I was shocked we didn’t already have those things in place! Of course there are achievement gaps and of course we should be honest about those and of course we have to find ways to address them so that every student has what they need to succeed! But other candidates talked about how the distraction of equity talk was the reason kids struggled to read. Equity was defined as something that told kids they would never succeed because of who they are and they should just feel bad about that. When in truth it was an effort to finally address systemic inequalities and long standing barriers to success that have been in place for hundreds of years. And yes it did talk about race because if we don’t talk about it how do we ever address racial inequities and if we don’t address them then we are saying we are fine with achievement gaps and an educational system that is built around the premise that privileged kids should succeed and others should be left behind. It was an effort to actually address the declining standardized test scores that everyone was saying they were so upset about rather than just complaining about them and pretending that just doing what we have always done will work.

          It became the whole “talking about race is racist” argument that attempts to silence any efforts of progress. It also became scapegoating the superintendent and blaming some hidden agenda on indoctrinating our students. When those of us who have spent endless hours volunteering in schools know that teachers are working hard, they care about their students, they are finding creative ways all the time to engage students and educate them and teachers are people with all different political and religious views- not some homogenous group set on producing students that adhere to some kind of agenda.

          All of it worked. The constant complaints with no actual solutions other than “stop critical race theory” which wasn’t being taught anyway. The scare tactics and fear-mongering, the massive amount of involvement from churches like the Church For All Nations and their “Cultural Impact Team” who hosted parent boot camps where they trained parents on “getting back their school boards” for things like “Christian values” and away from things like equity and culturally responsive teaching. And the narrative that teachers are making children question their gender and creating a world of trans, bi and gay students who will destroy the moral fabric of society. The messaging worked …. Well that and the $180,000 that was put into the campaigns of candidates by a group called Colorado Springs Forward.

          During the campaign I also saw who was filling the public comments at School Board meetings. It was the same four people shouting about masks and critical race theory over and over again. People like me, the involved parents, the SAC chairs and PTA presidents and classroom helpers weren’t there. We were in the schools building relationships and trying to be part of the solution. But we needed to start showing up. Rational people who care about the education of our future, the inequities in our educational system, the value of educated teachers and the importance of keeping a quality system of public education in this country needed to show up.

          I met so many wonderful people while campaigning and some of us got together to talk about how concerned we were about the agendas of the people who would be making decisions for our school district, the one we have been championing and talking up and volunteering for and sending our kids to and do everything we can to help. We needed to organize and speak up for the involved parents, the dedicated teachers, the passionate administrators, the rational community members and the students- the students who have breakfast in the morning and the students who depend on their school for that, the students who need individual educational plans to address their unique learning challenges and the students who are labeled as gifted/talented because they process information differently, the students who live in the west end of town and the east end of town. The students who have parents who can chaperone the field trips and the students who have parents who work multiple jobs, the students who come to school from the bus and the students who come from the car they slept in. The students who speak English at home and the students who speak a different language over the dinner table. All of these students deserve quality public education.

          And the truth is public education is under attack. The narrative that is gaining traction is that public schools are socialist failures that need replaced by private schools and schools run by for-profit companies that will be better because they will have to compete.

          And so we organized. We are a group of people who heard the question “If not you, then who?” and the answer was no one. There was no one preparing to watch the Board of Education and hold them accountable, to unite the voices of those who are passionate about public education and give power through numbers, to partner with organizations like Inside Out, Men of Influence, Citizen’s Project, El Paso Council PTA and others who believe in equity- that every student deserves an opportunity to succeed. We have been able to amplify the voices of LGBTQIA+ students by standing alongside Inside Out in calling out transphobic and homophobic statements made by Board members not just because they are ignorant and offensive but because they cause real harm to students and families. We have joined with Citizen’s Project to speak out when the superintendent was pressured to resign and when the Board voted to remove the equity department from the budget. And we have raised our voices together to say that racism is not ok. And that may seem basic, but I have been utterly shocked at the blatant racism from members of the Board of Education. And we do all of this while at the same time finding ways to partner with schools and help them in any way we can.

          We are also holding true to our belief that democracy cannot be bought and that helping more people realize the value of their vote will make for a more inclusive city that meets the needs of those who are often overlooked. So we are working with the League of Women Voters and Colorado Latinos Vote to increase voter registration and participation in local elections.

          There are some things we take for granted in our lives and the opportunity to send our children to a quality public school to receive a well-rounded education is one of those things, but the truth is, if we don’t speak up for it, if we don’t fight for it, if we don’t insist on it- who will?

          I’m not usually one for memorizing a single line of scripture and taking it out of context, but there is one that is embedded in my heart and that is Micah 6:8 “What does the Lord require of you? To seek justice and love kindness and walk humbly with your God.”

          Resisting political agendas that seek to make a profit off students while neglecting their needs is justice. Speaking up for the ones who do not have a seat at the table is justice, giving my time to make sure that every student has an opportunity to be educated is justice. And kindness is not the same as being nice. Being nice may be seen as staying quiet with a polite smile and never talking about anything that might offend someone. Being kind means demonstrating love to all of God’s children, being willing to give more resources to those who need them and enduring discomfort to have the difficult conversations that call for change. All of this done with humility, recognizing our missteps, recognizing our own biases and always looking to extend grace to one another. This we can do together.

Throughout this process of organizing and all of the emotional ups and downs, the potential wins that ended only in crushing defeat, the signs of hope that were only meant to pacify us in the hopes that we would be quiet- in all of that I have been held up by the grace, passion and bold courage of others. I have been inspired and uplifted by those that are walking this journey with me and in knowing that I am not alone, I can answer “If not you then who?” with US.

         

Sermon from Easter Vigil 4/16/22 at Grace and St. Stephen's

 

          I have fond memories of my first Easter Vigil service. Growing up Methodist, I had attended several Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter morning services but the Vigil was something new for me. It was my first year of seminary and Jeremiah was doing his student ministry at an Episcopal church by our school in New Jersey. His priest was giving him the opportunity to chant the Exsultet and he was nervous about it.
I walked across campus with him from the student apartments to the darkened chapel where he practiced over and over again. To this day, when I hear it chanted I still think back to sitting in that empty chapel and listening as the words bounced off the large wooden cross and empty altar. The next day I attended the service and was completely caught up in it. The dramatic fire lighting up the pitch black space, the series of readings that layered upon one another to build up to the dramatic moment we are now in, the loud organ and passionate shouts of Alleluia as the big black curtain dropped and massive amounts of lilies appeared. The joy on everyone's faces as we sang those first Alleluias that had been buried away since Ash Wednesday. It gave me goosebumps on my arms and tears in my eyes. The strawberries and champagne that followed the service were also a surprise for this cradle Methodist.

          While it was all very new to me, it of course is very old to the church. The first evidence of the Great Vigil service is from the second century in the region that is now Turkey. In my church history class, I remember my professor detailing the way in which the ancient church celebrated this liturgy, processing in the candidates for baptism who proclaimed their beliefs and were celebrated as new Christians. It is in fact one of our oldest Christian liturgies and yet it still feels so very relevant and even at times emotional. It still speaks to us today- in this very different time and in this very different part of the world.

          Perhaps that is because this story that we are reenacting, retelling and recelebrating is so very real. We all know darkness. We all know heartbreak, pain and uncertainty.

          One of the things that always strikes me on Good Friday is how normal the day is outside of the church. Inside the church it is a dark, empty, sad space full of mourning and loss. We read the last words of Christ and sing songs about crucifixion and loss. We walk out in silence and some even with stomachs growling from fasting and we contemplate the emptiness of a world without a Savior.  But when we walk outside the doors it is a normal Friday with school, work, social activities, movies to watch and tasks to complete- you can even find Easter egg hunts and kids sitting on the laps of giant bunnies on that day when our hearts sit in darkness.

          In the same way when tragedy strikes or when a loved one dies we experience that same strangeness- when the mourner's world is shattered and their heart grief-stricken but the rest of the world goes on. Cars keep going up and down the roads, children keep laughing and the world continues to spin. It is strange to have one reality in your heart while living in the midst of a very different reality. To have a thick and heavy darkness inside while standing in the sunshine next to people going about their normal days.

          It is a juxtaposition we Christians know well. We go about our normal lives and daily routines but with this remarkable story filling our hearts, bringing us hope even in the despair and wisdom even in uncertainty. We mark our seasons not by the sports calendar or the sales events at the car lots, but rather by this ancient calendar that takes us through birth, life, death and resurrection. We believe in crazy countercultural ideas like that love is the source of all being, that justice matters and that we should do nonsensical things like feed the poor, clothe the naked, bring healing to the suffering and actually care about people other than ourselves. Where widows and children have more wisdom than rulers and things like water, bread and wine are more valuable than the most expensive jewels.

          And today we got to participate in the miracle of new people entering this life of faith with us, newly baptized Christians that will be nurtured by our community, loved into faith by their parents and guided by their godparents and sponsors.

          It isn't always an easy thing, guiding people into this life of faith. In fact, I am a godparent and often wonder how best to live into that role. I try to find ways to teach my godchildren about the faith, give them meaningful gifts to remind them of their faith and always make it known that I am available to talk about anything- even doubts. But it isn't as if one can force another into believing, or persuade someone simply by words to live into this countercultural value system we swear to. Perhaps the best that we can do is promise to be with them through the whole story- through the darkness and unknown and through the resurrection and joy. And to keep reminding them of that story, keep finding ways to whisper it into their lives- that love wins, hope is real and resurrection will come. That the flowers that withered and died will burst forth from the ground again, that those who suffer in pain will rise in glory, that the sun that has set will rise again, that no matter how heavy the darkness, how uncertain the path, how miserable the anguish … God doesn't let go.

          Thinking back on that first Easter Vigil I experienced, the one that started with an Exsultet chanted again and again into a dark and empty space- one of the reasons I remember it so fondly is because that was a special place for me that I like to remember. Part of why it is special is because it was a place where I often felt carried in my faith by others. A good seminary experience is a time of deep questioning, a time of picking all aspects of your faith apart, a time of being confronted over and over again with the injustices and pains of the world, a time for constructive arguments, life's deepest questions and brave people sharing their doubts. It is a time to let your walls down so that you can be shaped and molded into someone who can lead others into this life of faith. One of the things that helped me most during that time took place every Thursday in that chapel where I listened to Jeremiah practice his Exsultet- my fellow students and professors who were asking those hard questions and sharing their own pains and vulnerabilities, who were questioning and challenging- they all knelt for the bread and the wine together every Thursday and in kneeling with them, I knew I could get back up. I remembered the rest of the story, I remembered and was carried by the power of faith, I was prepared for kneeling alongside others in their darkness.  Their model of faith even in darkness, strengthened mine.

          Perhaps this is how we can be good God parents, good church members, good fellow Christians along the journey- we can keep kneeling together, keep reaching up for the Holy Mystery of the body and blood of Christ even in a world where that doesn't make sense to most people. We can keep reminding each other that the dark curtain will drop, the Alleluias will return and the lilies are just hiding behind the altar. We keep walking this story together over and over again and praying it into the world. So that when the tomb is empty we can see it, we can understand it and we can shout Alleluia even when the rest of the world is just going about their daily lives.

          After all, we baptize while it is still dark. The baptisms tonight were before the lilies sparkled and the Alleluias rang out and the tomb was declared empty. They were baptized into darkness, uncertainty and loss. That is faith. That is our radical story of hope and persistent belief. Of a God who is still with us in the dark. That is our countercultural, radical, strange, hard to explain Christian story- that we believe even in the dark, that hope never dies, that love is stronger than death and that faith is worth having. That is why it feels so good to shout Alleluia, not because we don't know darkness, but because we do.