Friday, February 8, 2019

The UMC: Watching and Waiting ...


Years ago when I started a blog I titled it “Looking Out the Window” and that is just what I feel like I am doing as I watch what is happening in The United Methodist Church. I have been a United Methodist since I was born. It is the church that guided me, taught me, nurtured my faith and supported my calling. I went to a United Methodist Seminary and read through the sermons of John Wesley while sitting next to George Whitefield's thumb in The United Methodist Archives. I grew up going to plenty of UMC conferences (Explorations '98 and '00, Youth Annual Conferences, Youth Jams, etc.), I worked as a youth leader at three different UMCs. When I was serving in West Ohio Conference, I went to back-to-back annual conferences as my membership was (and is) still with East Ohio. And in June of 2009, a journey that began with a sense of call at age 13 brought me on stage in Hoover Auditorium in Lakeside, Ohio for one of the most meaningful moments of my life … my ordination as an elder (pastor) in The United Methodist Church. It is very much home.

And yet, here I am looking at it through a window. I am currently working at an Episcopal Church and have been raising my kids in The Episcopal Church since I went on VLOA- family leave status in 2013. Since then I have attended Annual Conferences, done supply work at UMCs and maintained relationships and connections in The UMC but I am not in the thick of things as so many of my UM clergy friends are.

Both churches where I served as pastor I would characterize as predominantly conservative congregations and there were moments of tension over various things The UMC did that were perceived to be in favor of same sex marriage or changing the language of the Book of Discipline regarding homosexuality. I remember the emotions, focus and energy those required of me. I thought of that as I was reading a post about support/counseling/care opportunities for clergy at the upcoming special session of the General Conference.

Perhaps I should back up a bit because not everyone has an inbox full of UMNS stories on what is happening. A special session of The United Methodist General Conference (representatives from every UM Conference/Area in the world) has been called to deal specifically with The UMC's stance on same sex marriage and the ordination of what the Book of Discipline would refer to as “self-avowed practicing homosexuals.”

I thought about offering my own synopsis of the three main plans (or 5 according to some sources) being put forward, but I am definitely no expert and recommend instead googling the work of “The Commission on a Way Forward” or the Council of Bishops' statements.

All of this is to say the church of my baptism, confirmation, first sermon, wedding and ordination may be breaking. It is quite possible that the institution will do what so many institutions do best which is nothing, but even that will not be without consequences, fractures and pain. I wonder what will happen to the churches I have pastored that I remember so fondly and hold in my heart. What will happen to the seminary that is so dear to me and my husband? What will happen to the conference I call home and the one I am currently living in? What will my future in The UMC look like?

Most of all I find myself thinking about those who do not have any distance from this right now. Those who are in the thick of things. Those who are loving and listening to those who have very different views and holding onto hope of unity. Those who feel angry and hurt by angry and hurtful words. Those who get into the pulpit with a pit in their stomach and trembling hands because while they know God is with them, the emotionally-laden words can become personal and it hurts.

Even though I may have a little distance at the moment, I can't pretend this issue is not important to me or that I have no investment in which way this goes. There is a reason I tremble when I talk about it. My convictions, passion and beliefs are so deep and so important to me. This is hard. So while I watch I am doing what I can to stay informed, being careful with my words and praying, praying, praying …

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