It
was about two and a half years ago, a cold January morning …a Sunday
morning. I was the pastor of Woodville United Methodist Church and
invited the congregation to share any joys or concerns before the time
of prayer. After some people shared health concerns or milestone joys I
saw Laura’s hand go up and she had that little smile on her face. She
stood up and said, “You better be good today because we have new
visitors and I told them you were good!” With her usual sass, wit and
honesty Laura actually paid me a very nice compliment, but being right
before the sermon she put the pressure on. As I prepared this sermon I
found myself remembering that day and today can hear Laura saying “this
better be good!” It’s a lot of pressure to try to find the words for
this occasion, to try to find the words for a woman who was so good with
words, who had so many words and who was able to share so beautifully,
profoundly and deeply with so many people. So, yeah it better be good,
especially since I am the only person speaking, not because no one else
here can, but because so many of you can. Laura knew that so many of
you could share so beautifully your personal stories and memories,
perhaps too many. But she also wanted this service to be about hope,
joy and resurrection. And so I too will share my personal stories of
her friendship another time and instead point to where God is …where
hope remains and where joy might be found …eventually.
Laura knew exactly which Gospel reading she wanted for this service. When she told me my face lit up. It’s my favorite Bible story and her’s too- the woman at the well. I know, I know, it’s a bit of an odd favorite passage. It’s not as poetic or quotable as the beautiful Psalms, it’s perhaps not as memorable as the advice Paul gives in his letters or the amazing accounts of an empty tomb. It’s an interesting story about a woman going to get water and meeting Jesus. We know that it takes place at noon, the middle of the day. The only people who went to the well at noon were the ones who probably weren’t welcome to hang with the big crowds in the cooler parts of the day. Going to the well at noon, alone, this woman stood out, and from what Jesus says about her, it sounds like she may have been living in a questionable situation and perhaps had a checkered past. So she walks to the well, bearing it all- her past, her situation, all out in the open.
And she meets Jesus. He asks for a drink and this Samaritan woman questions him, challenges him, she demonstrates deep knowledge and quick wit … maybe even sass. She basically says “don’t you see we are different? Where is your bucket if you want water? Who do you think you are?” Jesus took a chance on this interaction, his disciples were not happy about it. It was not socially acceptable to chat with a woman alone out in front of everyone, a Samaritan woman never the less. He took a chance on her and it paid off. She asks for the water he speaks of the water that will become a “spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” And after they talk the woman drops her jar and goes and tells others. She is filled with the living water and goes to share it with others. Later in the passage it says “Many Samaritans from that city believed in him because of the woman’s testimony.”
Do you see now why it was her favorite? A sassy, clever, quick-witted woman, not afraid to bear it all in public, not intimidated, intelligent, questioning, pushing, seeking. And the moment she finds something good, when she learns of life-giving waters, she goes out to tell others, she shares it.
I don’t need to tell you that Laura shared what she had, that she loved so many, so deeply. I’ve heard many of you say “she made everyone feel like they were the most important person.” Her sharing, her words, her way was so authentic, so honest that it drew others in. On one of my recent visits with Laura I told her that she had a way of making people honest and authentic and then when they were, she still loved them. People never forget that …I know I never will.
I don’t need to tell you a lot of things about Laura because you already know. She reached out to so many people, did so many generous things for others, shared openly about her faith, her wisdom and her heart. And yet there was also a part of her that was very private. She held her children and Aaron close, cherished the time they had together and thought the world of them. Even when she joked about “the bearded man” as she referred to him on social media, it was always with such love and respect. She told me that she knew he would be great taking care of the kids because when she was so sick and tired after the intense chemo, she witnessed it. She saw him taking care of the kids, doing all of it and being great at it.
And so much of who Laura was and what her legacy is, is her three monsters. She reminded all of us to squeeze our monsters every chance we get. Camille said her favorite thing to do with mommy was cuddles. They all said that she cared for them even when she was sick. And that love and care will be a part of who they are forever. Even though she was tired and in pain, Laura wanted to do what she could to care for her children during the important moments of their lives. Aaron shared with me a letter that she wrote for their first day of school. It is neatly written in crayon, each line a different color, with a peace sign, heart and star on the side. It says, “We hope you are having a great first day! We wanted to remind you of a couple things … 1. We love you! Even if you don’t get all A’s. Even if you forget your homework. Even if you aren’t picked first in gym. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS! 2. Listen to your heart. If you notice someone sitting by themselves- go sit with them. If people are picking on someone- stand up for them. God speaks to your heart- LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. 3. Listen to your teachers. Respect them always … Love, Mom and Dad”
Even when she breathed her last, her children were her biggest concern. It was that love for them that fueled her strength through this disease and treatment. It was her love and devotion for them that kept her from falling into despair or hopelessness. That moved her to stay strong throughout it all.
God it’s hard. This life we live, it requires strength. I’m not going to stand here and give you some reason why all of this happened. I’m not going to say it’s because she loved so much or God needed her or that there is some purpose to this. There are a lot of really great reasons and purposes for her to still be here. And Laura and I talked about this stuff and I gotta tell you the God I love and know and worship and see in the faces of her loved ones did not want this to happen. God suffers with us, grieves with us, holds us compassionately in our darkest moments. As Christians we are never told that life will be easy. Christianity is not a get out of pain free pass. Look what happened to Jesus, look what happened to the apostles. Pain, loss, suffering is part of what it means to be human. If we are honest and bold then we can find our hope beyond it and beyond false explanations or fear or hiding or trying to control it. We can find our hope in this beautiful, earth-shattering, eternally powerful thing we call resurrection.
In Jesus Christ God conquers death, God shows us that death is not the end, that nothing can separate us from the love of God, that hope, peace and joy live on into eternity. The resurrection is our hope even in the depth of sadness. Out of the pains of birth comes new life and out of the pain of death comes new life that we can not now understand but are called to embrace with faith.
Laura’s faith was so strong. We had some deep, long talks these past few weeks and I can tell you 100 percent that she was unwavering in her faith. I will forever be influenced and inspired by her faith. She never believed that faith meant she would never suffer. And so when the suffering came, her faith never left. She knew she would be at peace, she knew she would be ok- she just wanted to make sure everyone else was. Always taking care of others. She worried about her friends, her family, her mom, her husband and kids. She loved so deeply. I remember that Christmas Eve service, the first one after her dad died. With tear-soaked cheeks she walked out of church with a smile on her face and a shirt that her mom got her that brightly said “Love” across it. Love in pain, faith over fear, hope in the darkness, faith is greater than worry …these are the things I believe she would say to us today.
A couple of years ago a well-known musician in The United Methodist Church from my seminary in New Jersey came to Woodville and put on a workshop. Laura wrote in her blog: “I enjoyed the music, the wisdom, the honesty, the fellowship…everything. Yet, I can also state without hesitation, that this song was the most powerful part of the weekend for me.
Believing even during the “why’s”. Believing when it would be easier to turn away. Believing in the sun even when it’s not shining. Believing in love even when there’s no one there. Believing in God even when he’s silent.
Can you imagine being a prisoner at a concentration camp and still believing; witnessing and suffering and fighting to stay alive and still believing?
Even when.
Believe.”
And then she quoted the original poem the song is based on , “written during World War II, on the wall of a cellar, by a Jew scratched on a wall in a concentration camp
“I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love,
even when there’s no one there.
And I believe in God,
even when he is silent.
I believe through any trial,
there is always a way
But sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
My heart cries for shelter,
to know someone’s there
But a voice rises within me, saying hold on
my child, I’ll give you strength,
I’ll give you hope. Just stay a little while.
I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love
even when there’s no one there
But I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way.
May there someday be sunshine
May there someday be happiness
May there someday be love
May there someday be peace….”
- Unknown
And this is the song that Laura wanted sung today. She planned it all out, invited people to sing and assigned solos. For a while the verses were her cover photo on facebook. It speaks of her unwavering faith, her ability to see good, to see hope and give love even in the pain, even when her body was shutting down.
And so as I stood next to Laura, holding her warm hand as she lay in the Hospice bed, I saw that her breathing dramatically slowed and as the nurse ran to get Aaron who had only momentarily left her side and was right there again, I searched for the right words for someone who gave so many of us the right words. I could hear Laura saying “this better be good” and I leaned down and with my voice quivering I softly sang in her ear, “I believe in the sun, I believe in the sun, even when, even when it’s not shining…”
Laura knew exactly which Gospel reading she wanted for this service. When she told me my face lit up. It’s my favorite Bible story and her’s too- the woman at the well. I know, I know, it’s a bit of an odd favorite passage. It’s not as poetic or quotable as the beautiful Psalms, it’s perhaps not as memorable as the advice Paul gives in his letters or the amazing accounts of an empty tomb. It’s an interesting story about a woman going to get water and meeting Jesus. We know that it takes place at noon, the middle of the day. The only people who went to the well at noon were the ones who probably weren’t welcome to hang with the big crowds in the cooler parts of the day. Going to the well at noon, alone, this woman stood out, and from what Jesus says about her, it sounds like she may have been living in a questionable situation and perhaps had a checkered past. So she walks to the well, bearing it all- her past, her situation, all out in the open.
And she meets Jesus. He asks for a drink and this Samaritan woman questions him, challenges him, she demonstrates deep knowledge and quick wit … maybe even sass. She basically says “don’t you see we are different? Where is your bucket if you want water? Who do you think you are?” Jesus took a chance on this interaction, his disciples were not happy about it. It was not socially acceptable to chat with a woman alone out in front of everyone, a Samaritan woman never the less. He took a chance on her and it paid off. She asks for the water he speaks of the water that will become a “spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” And after they talk the woman drops her jar and goes and tells others. She is filled with the living water and goes to share it with others. Later in the passage it says “Many Samaritans from that city believed in him because of the woman’s testimony.”
Do you see now why it was her favorite? A sassy, clever, quick-witted woman, not afraid to bear it all in public, not intimidated, intelligent, questioning, pushing, seeking. And the moment she finds something good, when she learns of life-giving waters, she goes out to tell others, she shares it.
I don’t need to tell you that Laura shared what she had, that she loved so many, so deeply. I’ve heard many of you say “she made everyone feel like they were the most important person.” Her sharing, her words, her way was so authentic, so honest that it drew others in. On one of my recent visits with Laura I told her that she had a way of making people honest and authentic and then when they were, she still loved them. People never forget that …I know I never will.
I don’t need to tell you a lot of things about Laura because you already know. She reached out to so many people, did so many generous things for others, shared openly about her faith, her wisdom and her heart. And yet there was also a part of her that was very private. She held her children and Aaron close, cherished the time they had together and thought the world of them. Even when she joked about “the bearded man” as she referred to him on social media, it was always with such love and respect. She told me that she knew he would be great taking care of the kids because when she was so sick and tired after the intense chemo, she witnessed it. She saw him taking care of the kids, doing all of it and being great at it.
And so much of who Laura was and what her legacy is, is her three monsters. She reminded all of us to squeeze our monsters every chance we get. Camille said her favorite thing to do with mommy was cuddles. They all said that she cared for them even when she was sick. And that love and care will be a part of who they are forever. Even though she was tired and in pain, Laura wanted to do what she could to care for her children during the important moments of their lives. Aaron shared with me a letter that she wrote for their first day of school. It is neatly written in crayon, each line a different color, with a peace sign, heart and star on the side. It says, “We hope you are having a great first day! We wanted to remind you of a couple things … 1. We love you! Even if you don’t get all A’s. Even if you forget your homework. Even if you aren’t picked first in gym. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS! 2. Listen to your heart. If you notice someone sitting by themselves- go sit with them. If people are picking on someone- stand up for them. God speaks to your heart- LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. 3. Listen to your teachers. Respect them always … Love, Mom and Dad”
Even when she breathed her last, her children were her biggest concern. It was that love for them that fueled her strength through this disease and treatment. It was her love and devotion for them that kept her from falling into despair or hopelessness. That moved her to stay strong throughout it all.
God it’s hard. This life we live, it requires strength. I’m not going to stand here and give you some reason why all of this happened. I’m not going to say it’s because she loved so much or God needed her or that there is some purpose to this. There are a lot of really great reasons and purposes for her to still be here. And Laura and I talked about this stuff and I gotta tell you the God I love and know and worship and see in the faces of her loved ones did not want this to happen. God suffers with us, grieves with us, holds us compassionately in our darkest moments. As Christians we are never told that life will be easy. Christianity is not a get out of pain free pass. Look what happened to Jesus, look what happened to the apostles. Pain, loss, suffering is part of what it means to be human. If we are honest and bold then we can find our hope beyond it and beyond false explanations or fear or hiding or trying to control it. We can find our hope in this beautiful, earth-shattering, eternally powerful thing we call resurrection.
In Jesus Christ God conquers death, God shows us that death is not the end, that nothing can separate us from the love of God, that hope, peace and joy live on into eternity. The resurrection is our hope even in the depth of sadness. Out of the pains of birth comes new life and out of the pain of death comes new life that we can not now understand but are called to embrace with faith.
Laura’s faith was so strong. We had some deep, long talks these past few weeks and I can tell you 100 percent that she was unwavering in her faith. I will forever be influenced and inspired by her faith. She never believed that faith meant she would never suffer. And so when the suffering came, her faith never left. She knew she would be at peace, she knew she would be ok- she just wanted to make sure everyone else was. Always taking care of others. She worried about her friends, her family, her mom, her husband and kids. She loved so deeply. I remember that Christmas Eve service, the first one after her dad died. With tear-soaked cheeks she walked out of church with a smile on her face and a shirt that her mom got her that brightly said “Love” across it. Love in pain, faith over fear, hope in the darkness, faith is greater than worry …these are the things I believe she would say to us today.
A couple of years ago a well-known musician in The United Methodist Church from my seminary in New Jersey came to Woodville and put on a workshop. Laura wrote in her blog: “I enjoyed the music, the wisdom, the honesty, the fellowship…everything. Yet, I can also state without hesitation, that this song was the most powerful part of the weekend for me.
Believing even during the “why’s”. Believing when it would be easier to turn away. Believing in the sun even when it’s not shining. Believing in love even when there’s no one there. Believing in God even when he’s silent.
Can you imagine being a prisoner at a concentration camp and still believing; witnessing and suffering and fighting to stay alive and still believing?
Even when.
Believe.”
And then she quoted the original poem the song is based on , “written during World War II, on the wall of a cellar, by a Jew scratched on a wall in a concentration camp
“I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love,
even when there’s no one there.
And I believe in God,
even when he is silent.
I believe through any trial,
there is always a way
But sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
My heart cries for shelter,
to know someone’s there
But a voice rises within me, saying hold on
my child, I’ll give you strength,
I’ll give you hope. Just stay a little while.
I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love
even when there’s no one there
But I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way.
May there someday be sunshine
May there someday be happiness
May there someday be love
May there someday be peace….”
- Unknown
And this is the song that Laura wanted sung today. She planned it all out, invited people to sing and assigned solos. For a while the verses were her cover photo on facebook. It speaks of her unwavering faith, her ability to see good, to see hope and give love even in the pain, even when her body was shutting down.
And so as I stood next to Laura, holding her warm hand as she lay in the Hospice bed, I saw that her breathing dramatically slowed and as the nurse ran to get Aaron who had only momentarily left her side and was right there again, I searched for the right words for someone who gave so many of us the right words. I could hear Laura saying “this better be good” and I leaned down and with my voice quivering I softly sang in her ear, “I believe in the sun, I believe in the sun, even when, even when it’s not shining…”
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