Finding "The One"

If I were to write an essay on how I spent my Christmas break it would inevitably include some reference to organ music.  While some of it was live at the beautiful worship services I attended, the bulk of it was coming through the tiny speakers on our laptop as my husband sat on the couch carefully reading through many organist resumes.  He is looking to hire a new organist for the church.  Perhaps you may think "what's the big deal? You just need someone who can play along with a few hymns each Sunday."  If you think this ... you are wrong.  It is a big deal as the music program at our church is top notch, covering ages 5-100 and bringing a multitude of events from the gentle but powerful Choral Compline services to an endowed concert series to a week of choir camp in the mountains for kids and teens.  So as my husband and his team scour the about fifty (seriously) resumes they are trying to figure out how to take into consideration all the many qualifications and also look for something more, something harder to quantify or describe ... how to find "the one."

I find myself on a similar search in other ways.  For example, I am looking to find how I want to live out my pastoral calling as my kids are getting older and spending less time at home.  I have been volunteering in various capacities and wondering where God is calling me to next.  I love volunteering at the church where my husband is rector.  I think it is so wonderful that my children feel comfortable and loved there.  I love that my kids know things about Joshua and the battle of Ai from the Wednesday night Bible Study and it makes my heart burst when my son loves going to choir practice every week.  But I am ordained in a different denomination that I also love.  I love preaching, teaching and providing pastoral care.  These are the things that in the past have always brought me fulfillment and excitement.  At the same time I love having the time and availability to volunteer at my son's school.  I love getting to know the children and feeling like I am (in a small way) contributing not just to my son's but many children's education and sense of value.  I see ways I can help the community through the school organizations I volunteer with.  I don't want to give that up.  Also, I love keeping a balance to our family life.  I like having dinner together around the table as a family most days, praying together before bed and while housekeeping is not something that I particularly enjoy or comes naturally, I do like having the beds made and laundry done and providing the family with a warm and welcoming place to seek refuge and rest.  I love where we live and exploring it through new adventures, playgrounds and hikes. I currently have about fifty ideas of where I want to either: work, volunteer or continue my education.  How do I find "the one?"

When I first moved here almost two years ago I was determined to find "the one" in a different way.  I needed to find a really close friend.  Someone to bond with and keep the isolation that can come with being a stay at home parent at bay.  I had a few really wonderful friends in Toledo that totally got me and I always felt comfortable with and regularly enjoyed a really good deep laugh with and I needed to find that.  I would meet another mom and wonder "could this be the one?" And then realize she already has tons of wonderful friends here and my desperation is not attractive or shared.  I am lucky to have a husband that gets me and regularly makes me crack up but since we moved here his work hours have increased and I needed to find ways to adjust to that.  

Two years later and I have not found "the one" of anything.  Something even better has happened. I have found several.  I have several really wonderful friends each bringing out a different part of me, each teaching me different things and inspiring me in different ways.  And over time those relationships will grow to a place where we "get" each other more and more.   I have also had a lot of different experiences through volunteering that have taught me new things about myself and stretched me in different ways.   

I'm not going to lie though, I'm definitely still struggling to figure out what is right for me and my situation and I do still secretly hope for a new best friend to move down the street from me.  Perhaps the key is to realize that there are so many beautiful people and beautiful opportunities in this life and anything we can do to make the world a better place or connect to another person is worthwhile.  Every person and every opportunity has a unique perspective, specific gifts and can inspire a new part of ourselves. In the meantime ... I get to listen to some really great organ music.