“Loved” John 14:15-21

 John 14:15-21

          If you ever want to have an awkward and uncomfortable conversation with someone, ask them if they go to church. Believe me, because I have that awkward conversation with people quite often. Not just out of the blue, but as a hospital chaplain, sometimes I am trying to discern where the patient finds community, connection or support. Also, I always ask patients if they would like prayer and in order to know how best to pray, it’s helpful to know if they practice a particular faith. And so I have tried to word the question differently, to make it as open and gentle as possible and to show that I have no ulterior motive in asking. Because people usually think you are trying to judge or convert them.  They almost always think there is something behind it. And so people often respond to that question with defensiveness, guardedness, justifications, guilt or anger. And I get it, people can be judgy or pushy, or even forceful or sneaky with attempts to convince or convert. But it makes it hard when you just genuinely want to know … without the judgement.

          It’s like when you tell people you are a pastor or sing in the church choir or volunteer at church. Often people will get awkward and start explaining why they don’t go to church, or why they missed a few Sundays or their intentions of someday going back. Sometimes they may apologize for swearing, hide their beer or tell you why they don’t like church. I just listen, and try my best to show that I am not actually someone looking to make them feel bad.

          I hear a lot of people say things like “I don’t need to go to church because I don’t need someone telling me how to talk to God, I can do that without someone up there acting like they know better” or “those people go to those churches and think they are so much better than everyone else, but they all have their own problems” or “I went to a church and this person was mean to me and hurt me and I never went back.” Or they list everything any church has ever done wrong. And it’s true … churches are full of people and people do things wrong. I have certainly encountered people in churches who have done or said hurtful things, and even people who have done really awful things. Just as I have encountered people like this outside of the church.

          But when I think of church, I think of the church I grew up in, where I learned to sing Bible songs and was welcomed by dedicated volunteer Sunday School teachers and felt safe, felt loved. I think of times when my stomach hurt with laughter while spending time with a youth group I was leading or all the folks who could no longer attend church in person and welcomed me into their homes as their pastor and told me their stories and sent me off full of love, care and sometimes sweets. I think of watching children carefully bring the light into the sanctuary as acolytes, I think of busy people coming together on a weeknight to plan ways to reach out to the community, I think of people praying for me and my loved ones, I think of seeing people feel safe enough to let their tears out, I think of closing my eyes and feeling closer to heaven as I am lifted by a choir of voices singing to God in unison. I think of all those times of feeling touched, moved, connected … loved.

          Feeling loved is an inspiring thing. In fact, it’s why we as Christians do the things we do. So often people think that we church goers are here every Sunday to earn points and feel holier than others, they feel guilty because they think they haven’t done enough to please God, they feel a distance between themselves and God because they think they haven’t earned God’s good graces. But it’s actually the opposite. We don’t do things to earn God’s love, God’s love is already there for us. God demonstrates this through Jesus Christ, it’s there for free, for everyone, no points needed. We come together in worship, we do acts of service, we care for one another as a response to that love.

          The passage from John that was read begins with this. Jesus says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” It’s about responding from love, not earning love. And keeping the commandments of Jesus is an opportunity to respond to the love of Christ. The commandments of Christ are an invitation, to live out the love that we know and to make the Holy Spirit known.

          In this passage, Jesus is preparing the disciples for a time when he will not be physically present in the way that he is now. He says that God will give them an Advocate, some translations say Paraclete. This is the Holy Spirit who will guide, help, strengthen and comfort them. But Jesus goes on to say that the world does not see or know the Spirit, but that the Spirit will abide with them.

          So this is our call as Christians, to respond to the love of Jesus Christ by showing love to others and in doing so, others will see the Holy Spirit at work and come to know of this presence of comfort, strength and help.

          This means we do have an important role to play. As much as I do think people can be unfair in how they prejudge church-goers or Christians, the truth is, others are watching us, and we have a responsibility to act as followers of Christ. We are called to make the presence of Christ known here on earth. We are called to live out Jesus’s commandments to love others and show others that they are not alone, the Holy Spirit is here. To let others know that they are loved.

          I have always been fascinated by Psychology, so much so that my bachelor’s degree is in Psychology. I like finding what is underneath people’s thoughts, behaviors and actions and I am so very curious about how people think, react to and relate to others. But sometimes I need a break from it. I will find myself watching video clips, reading articles and listening to podcasts and learning so much about the ways in which people’s upbringings, traumatic experiences or subconscious needs are guiding what they do. But then I see love, just pure love and there really is no explanation for it. The kind of love that has no benefit to the person giving it, the kind of love that doesn’t make sense given all the heartbreak someone has been through- the kind of love that reminds you that we are so much more than our psychological traumas, animal instincts or reward driven behaviors.

Several times I have sat with spouses as they lovingly and tenderly cared for their spouse who was suffering due to some circumstance like a traumatic brain injury or disease, and will never be able to reciprocate in the same way or live out the plans they made when they got married, and still … the caregiving spouse loves, they stroke their hair, they talk about the good memories, they offer smiles, they make their spouse feel loved. It doesn’t make sense, it’s hard to explain, it’s the love that Christ demonstrates for us, the kind of love that makes the presence of the Holy Spirit known in the world.

I also see this pure love when I visit new parents right after they have had a baby. At that point most parents are pretty tired, shocked, overwhelmed, worried or dazed, but not the grandparents. In a room where the baby is crying, the new parents are sweating and stressing … off to the side I sometimes see the beaming, happy grandparents. No stress, no worries about how to raise the perfect child or which products are organic enough or how to properly install a car seat, just joy, just peace, just love. It doesn’t make sense, it’s hard to explain, it’s the love Christ demonstrates for us, God’s beloved children, the kind of love that makes the presence of the Holy Spirit known in the world.

 

Today is Mother’s Day. And I know that can bring a lot of emotions for people. Some are missing their mothers today, some are missing their children today and some have complicated relationships with their mothers. Human relationships don’t always fit our expectations or always demonstrate that perfect love that we long for. I know that I am not a perfect mother. I love my kids so much it makes my heart burst, but I am a human, and I don’t do things perfectly. Since they were born, I have prayed that somehow, even through all of my imperfections and all of the pain of the world, my children will feel that perfect, pure love that comes from Christ. The kind that doesn’t make sense, the kind that can’t be explained, the kind of love that will make the presence of the Holy Spirit known to them.

Sometimes, in my work as a hospital chaplain, the hardest part can be leaving the room. Because there are a lot of lonely people in the world and it feels sad to walk out the door, move on with my life and know that people are alone and hurting. So when I pray with patients, I always pray that they will feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in and through and around them, that they will feel held in the palm of God’s hand and know that they are not alone. Because of faith, I believe that somehow, someway in a way that can’t be explained, they are not alone, the Holy Spirit, the Advocate, the Paraclete that Jesus told us about, is there with them.

In May of the year 1373, Julian of Norwich experienced divine revelations from her cell attached to a small church in the town of Norwich, England. She immediately wrote these down and you can read them compiled in a book called “Showings.” Some years ago I got to go and sit in that cell where she wrote these and still, all these hundreds of years later, there is a palpable feeling of holiness in that space, a feeling that the Holy Spirit has been and still is there. These revelations she had are powerful and have captured the faith and hearts of many who have read them. They are words pouring from a heart in the depths of love. In chapter 59 she writes, “As truly as God is our Father, so truly is God our Mother, and he revealed that in everything, and especially in these sweet words where he says: I am he; that is to say: I am he, the power and goodness of fatherhood; I am he, the wisdom and the lovingness of motherhood; I am he, the light and the grace which is all blessed love; I am he, the Trinity; I am he, the unity; I am he, the great supreme goodness of every kind of thing; I am he who makes you to love; I am he who makes you to long; I am he, the endless fulfilling of all true desires. For where the soul is highest, noblest, most honourable, still it is lowest meekest and mildest.”  You can hear the rapturous tone in her writing as she writes of that love which is hard to explain, doesn’t make sense but makes the presence of the Holy Spirit known.

Jesus says “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Let us live as a people who are loved, as a people who know we are loved – even if it doesn’t make sense and is hard to explain - and in doing so we will make the presence of the Holy Spirit known here on earth.