A few weeks ago someone was talking about my time as the pastor of Woodville United Methodist Church. They were saying that a lot of good things have happened in the last four years and they said “you got Laura here and that’s been amazing.” I smiled and nodded. I agree that it has been amazing. She gets involved, comes up with new ideas, follows through, stays out of the drama, takes her faith seriously, looks for ways to grow in Christ and actually invites friends to church!
But the truth is, I was not the one that got her to come to the church. It was the work of the Holy Spirit and her dad. I remember clearly when a woman came into my office and said that Mark was in the hospital and had asked to see me. I was surprised since I had only met him a few times, but was happy for the opportunity to get to know him better and be of some help as his illness was quite serious. I won’t say what we talked about on that first visit. I have on different occasions had family members ask me what their loved one shared with me before they died, but I believe people should be able to tell their pastor whatever is on their heart without worrying that it will be shared … even after they die. So I will just say this about the visit: it was one of those great visits. Those of you who have done CPE or any kind of pastoral visits will understand what I mean. It’s the kind of visit you hope for, when the person has been reflecting honestly and seriously on life. When they really want to talk, not just chit chat about the weather or update you on their health condition. It was a long visit and a great conversation. I will say too that he told me about his children and grandchildren.
We had other visits but as his illness progressed they were more and more difficult for various reasons. One day after Sunday worship I went into the church kitchen to get some grape juice for my Communion kit. A woman at the church saw me and said she didn’t think Mark would be able to take Communion. I said, “I know, but his wife and daughter are there and they may want it.”
So I drove to Hospice and in the dim and quiet room were his wife and his daughter Laura. I had to start by apologizing. That morning at church someone had told me that Mark died. I was hesitant to announce something I didn’t hear directly from his wife so I called her. She panicked; she was on her way to see him and upon hearing my question she got scared that he had died without her there. I felt terrible; it was just a rumor; he was fine. Laura was not happy about that. So I started with an apology and then asked Laura some getting to know you questions. She told me she was the same age as me and she has three kids. I said, “wow, that’s young to have three kids already!” She did not seem to like that I said that. Then she asked me if I wanted kids and said something along the lines of “we aren’t that young you should probably hurry up if you are going to do it.” I did not like that she said that. But somehow, in spite of the fumbles at the beginning, we had a good conversation. The body of Christ was shared, we prayed with Mark and then I left them in that peaceful place.
At the funeral I was the person who kept asking her over and over if she was going to be singing. It was a big funeral; Mark had touched many and there were a number of people involved so I was trying to get everything organized and she had lost her voice the day before she was planning to sing a solo. But the service came together beautifully … and then she came to church with her mom. Then she started bringing her three beautiful children. She had grown up in the church and had gone somewhere else to worship for some years.
I believe it was her dad’s openness, willingness to dig deep and faithfulness to Christ that brought her back to our church. Also her mom’s kindness, acceptance of me and open heart. Also, anyone who knows her knows she doesn’t do things just because someone else wants her too. She is a very thoughtful, intelligent and faithful person. So, no I was not the one who brought Laura to the church, but I am so glad she is here. As I reflect back on the past four years it certainly would not have been the same without her and those three smiling faces.
Laura and I ended up going to a concert together last summer. I have to confess that I was a little nervous since it would be her and her friends and I would be taken out of my role as pastor. I often wrestle with maintaining the boundary between pastor and friend, so I was a little unsure of myself that night. Besides, I figured her friends might think it was weird that her pastor was coming. But it was great and I am so glad I went. It was fun and also good to get me away from the bedtime drama with my baby for one night.
Time keeps moving, goodbyes will come … but at least we will have our blogs.
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